I am about a week behind on my reviews because of life so this amazing book came out last week which is when my review was intended for! But nevertheless the book remains amazing so I’m still going to do my review because I want other people to read it and enjoy it as much as I did.
I can see how this is going to be a love it or hate it kind of book because it’s kind of (okay very much) a male/male re-imagining of 50 Shades of Gray…which all by itself is a polarizing book. I’m firmly in the camp of everyone should read whatever the hell they want and no one should judge them for it so people who love 50 Shades – more power to them! This book in no way makes fun of 50 Shades, which I appreciated. This author though, the way he writes is just beautiful. Whether he’s writing a meet-cute, a sex scene, or an emotionally volatile breakdown his prose always evokes something from me.
For me, Arden and Caspian drew me in right away and kept me wanting more. I began the book at the salon and was definitely drawing a few stares for how much laughing I was doing. The below is at the very beginning of the book. I was hooked from that chapter because it was just so charming.
“My briefing sheet says you’re the third richest man in the UK with a net worth in the region of twelve billion quid.”
I waited… I expected he would hang up but he didn’t and so we were stuck here, fresh silence deepening between us into this well of infinite nothingness.
“Um…” I skimmed desperately over the cheat sheet. “It says here that I should ask you if you’re enjoying it. But I don’t know what the it is. Oh, right. The answer to the previous question. How are you enjoying being the third richest man in the UK?”
“I’m finding it quite enjoyable.”
“You recommend insane wealth as a potential future for other St. Seb’s graduates?”
And then…then he laughed again, the laugh I liked. And I could breathe. “I do. What’s your next question?”
I checked. “Do you get the Arrow?”
“Since I don’t know what that is, it seems safe to assume I don’t.”
“It’s the Book of Making You Feel Bad About Yourself. You know, the St. Seb’s magazine? It’s full of stories about people who are living amazing lives and achieving amazing things while you’re sitting around in your pants playing Tsum Tsum.” I paused. “I guess you don’t do that, what with being a billionaire and everything.”
“I don’t, no.”
“And you don’t have time for the post, so the whole thing’s a bust really.”
I must have sounded a bit woebegone because he said, “There isn’t an e-copy you could sign me up for?” with the same kind of embarrassed gentleness you might show a three-legged kitten if you weren’t all that keen on cats.
I *love* Arden. He made the entire book for me. Caspian…not as much. I mean, I liked him, I did and that was clearly the intent – he was not as loveable as Arden and Arden was bound and determined to read him. That’s the shell of the story, and how Alexis Hall fills it in is what makes him such an exceptional author.
Rating: 5 stars
Title: How to Bang a Billionaire
Author: Alexis Hall
Release Date: April 18, 2017